Assalamualaikum W.B.T
Sometimes, I feel that I am too revealing. And I feel bad about that.
I knew that there are things that I should keep to myself. But, most of the time, I just blurted them up to others.
And I really hate the feeling when I just realized that I have made a big mistake by telling them to other people. I am not talking about "revealing other people's story" here but I am concern about "revealing too much of my feeling, my point of view and my own self" to others.
I just feel that sometimes, honesty is not the best policy!! Some things are better left unsaid.
I feel terribly guilty by letting the people around me listen to every single piece of my mind.
I just think "Who the &^%$ I am for people to listen to and bear with all the time?".
And therefore, I am so SORRY...SORRY...SORRY... for crossing that boundaries ;(
*********
Some people may not be able to understand what I am trying to convey here. And I don't blame them for that. I just confused with myself. Even up to this point of life, I haven't even "know and understand" what kind of person I am and what kind of person I want to be.
If even I myself, feeling uncomfortable with my own personality, what more other people, right?
People everywhere keep on saying "just be yourself!!" But how can you be yourself when you don't even comfortable with it. I am not trying to be someone else here but I just wonder why is it so difficult to bring about changes when you knew that you really need it?
I knew this entry sounds a bit emotional and I am so sorry for that. Please accept the fact that I am just experiencing "jiwa kacau" right now. It is just that, whenever I feel like accepting myself for who I am, the thought of changing to be a better a better person suddenly bugging me...not once but many times...
And, CHANGES AREN'T EASY FOR ME TO MAKE even I knew it is for better >>> that's my BIG PROBLEM.
Salam~
p/s: There are things about yourself (e.g: physical traits) that are fixed and can't be altered...and I can cope with that...this is what we called "accept yourself for who you are".
But, there are many other things about yourself (particularly your not-so-good-characters) that possibly be changed only when you manage to change your ATTITUDE about it...and this is the most difficult thing to do for someone like me...duhh...
Sometimes, I feel that I am too revealing. And I feel bad about that.
I knew that there are things that I should keep to myself. But, most of the time, I just blurted them up to others.
And I really hate the feeling when I just realized that I have made a big mistake by telling them to other people. I am not talking about "revealing other people's story" here but I am concern about "revealing too much of my feeling, my point of view and my own self" to others.
I just feel that sometimes, honesty is not the best policy!! Some things are better left unsaid.
I feel terribly guilty by letting the people around me listen to every single piece of my mind.
I just think "Who the &^%$ I am for people to listen to and bear with all the time?".
And therefore, I am so SORRY...SORRY...SORRY... for crossing that boundaries ;(
*********
Some people may not be able to understand what I am trying to convey here. And I don't blame them for that. I just confused with myself. Even up to this point of life, I haven't even "know and understand" what kind of person I am and what kind of person I want to be.
If even I myself, feeling uncomfortable with my own personality, what more other people, right?
People everywhere keep on saying "just be yourself!!" But how can you be yourself when you don't even comfortable with it. I am not trying to be someone else here but I just wonder why is it so difficult to bring about changes when you knew that you really need it?
I knew this entry sounds a bit emotional and I am so sorry for that. Please accept the fact that I am just experiencing "jiwa kacau" right now. It is just that, whenever I feel like accepting myself for who I am, the thought of changing to be a better a better person suddenly bugging me...not once but many times...
And, CHANGES AREN'T EASY FOR ME TO MAKE even I knew it is for better >>> that's my BIG PROBLEM.
Salam~
p/s: There are things about yourself (e.g: physical traits) that are fixed and can't be altered...and I can cope with that...this is what we called "accept yourself for who you are".
But, there are many other things about yourself (particularly your not-so-good-characters) that possibly be changed only when you manage to change your ATTITUDE about it...and this is the most difficult thing to do for someone like me...duhh...
15 comments:
Slm rien,
kekadang ada perkara yg kita bleh cerita kpd org lain tapi ada juga benda yg lebih baik tak perlu:) alaa, kesilapan tu mmg biasa cuma dari mana kita belajar tu menunjukkan kebijaksanaan kita..:)smoga jiwa kacau tu smkin tenang hari ni ye..*smile
hey darl...wut's up?..wut's troubling u?..huhu..hey dun blame urself from anyting dat u went thru..at least u can learn smting from it..:)
to acai:
wslm acai...
tu la, saya ni byk sgt cakap bnda2 x perlu...
rasa bodoh pun ada bile byk ckp ni^^
tu yg kesal tu hihi...
harap2 saya dpt mengawalnya next time...
**jiwa kacau rs lebih tenang bile tulis entry nih =)
to lisa:
hye lisa...nothing's really troubling me...just mentally disorganized...hehe
yeah...i hope i learnt sth from it =)
mentally disorganized?..hmm..myb pms? ;p..huhu
btw, correction of d above..
*dun blame urself 'for' anyting
haha ;p
to lisa: it cud be true...it cud be not true ;)
org putih kate;
"Old habit die hard"
Saya rasa, it's hard to change because our attitude has since been our practice and we are accustomed to it.
Normal la kan?
but for better or worse... rilekskan mindamu dan semoga perubahan itu akan berlaku dengan tenang dan rela hati...
jengjengjeng!! hiks...
to tyra:
thanks cik tyra 4 d advice...
yeah, i think i should relax first before i decide to do something...especially when it comes to changing my attitude...
supaya x jadi hangat2 tahi ayam..ngee..
salam..cik rien..
terima kasih sudi singgah ke blog SAYA..excited jg nak "kenal" cik rien..so, cik rien dijemput ke blog baru SAYA..
tapi sebelum tu send alamat email pada SAYA di : bintanghati220@gmail.com
Salam rien..
Huhu..
Berubah tak perlukan secara mengejut..
Setapak demi setapak biar tak terkejut dan menyesal..
Nanti-nanti kalau mendadak sangat berubah, takut sampai tengah jalan rien akan rindu diri rien yang lama.. Sungguh!
Jadi apa kata..
Tarik napas, hembus napas..
Duduk tenang-tenang sambil minum kopi panas..
Lepas tu tengok movie yang boleh buat rien tergelak..
He he he..
*Sengeh*
to akirasuri:
wslm...thanks 4 ur advice...
btul sgt ape yg awak cakap tu..
pernah cuba berubah...(x tau la mendadak atau x)
and tup-tup rindu diri yang lama...
tak sedar plak bile kembali semula kpd habit lama tu...ish...
ntahpape je...
** kopi panas dah buat....tggl fikir nak tengok crite ape plak..any suggestion?..ngee...
salam..
i can smell some internal problems here =)..chaiyyo u can face it and get through this!..
true, changes aren't easy to make..so just be yourself..and somehow, some people out there should just accept u the way u are..even u keep apologizing and doing the same mistakes over and over, but it just u..
but then not all bonds have the same chemistry..aite?
wslm...
amie...
i just love the way you say things..it's juat so comforting, so pleasant to hear ^^
thanks dear =)
*juat = just ;)
u knew how a and s are just placed next to each other...hehe
salam rien,
mm...firstly juz wan to state my opinion here..u might not agree wif it but it's normal to talk
ppl express themselves by talking
so, there's nothing wrong wif it, hun
secondly,
if u feel dat u talk a lot more than others, its ok
dat's what we call individual differences, rite??
some ppl are meant to be listeners
n others are meant to be d person who always do d talking
if u hv frens dat don talk much
someone must do d talking
so, its alrite for u to talk
lastly, im glad to know u
u r a good person wif great personality
i think u don hv to feel bad about it..but if u still feel bad, dat what makes u human..hihi
sori if u rs i merepek kat cni
luv u
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