.::048 : nikmat Allah itu harus disyukuri::.

eid mubarak dear friends!!!
fitriah, zaty, hazlila, yana
nita, lina, nazrah, hajar

Menatap foto rakan-rakan ketika sambutan Aidilfitri di Malaysia baru-baru ini sangat mempengaruhi emosi saya. Jauh di sudut hati, saya sebenarnya berasa agak cemburu dan terkilan kerana tidak dapat bersama-sama mereka menyabut Aidilfitri seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya. Apatah lagi kali ini nampaknya lebih ramai rakan yang menyertai gathering tersebut. Tetapi, apabila difikirkan kembali, saya fikir perasaan ini harus dibuang jauh-jauh. Saya yakin bahawa apa yang saya hadapi sekarang ada hikmahnya. Walaupun kami terpisah beribu-ribu batu, lantas tak mampu untuk bersua muka dan bertentang mata dengan mereka semua, saya percaya hakikat inilah yang telah menyedarkan saya akan nikmat sebuah persahabatan.

Selama ini, saya hanya mingle dengan orang-orang tertentu saja, precisely 'gang' atau member kamceng saya sejak sekolah rendah. 'Gang' kami tak besar, hanya empat atau lima orang. Sebenarnya, saya pun tak pasti siapakah ahli tetap kumpulan tersebut. Saya berhadapan dengan dua kemungkinan jika saya membuat senarai nama: bimbang ada yang tidak mengakui juga bimbang ada yang berkecil hati. Apa yang saya tahu, semua pun adalah kawan-kawan saya. Tetapi, to what degree, biarlah masing-masing yang menilai.

Lepas saya tamat SPM, saya mengikuti (or should I say "terpaksa mengikuti") program PLKN. Pada mulanya, saya benci untuk menerima hakikat yang saya perlu mengikuti program ini. Tetapi seperti biasa, semua yang berlaku pasti ada hikmahnya. Waktu inilah saya mula mingle dengan rakan-rakan yang completely have different characters and different background as compared to my 'childhood gang'. Bertitik tolak dari saat itulah saya mula bersikap lebih terbuka. Mungkin, lebih matang untuk menangani pelbagai watak dan ragam manusia dalam dunia ini.

Berbekalkan sedikit keyakinan, saya cuba mendekati rakan-rakan yang telah lama saya 'abaikan'. Ramai orang beranggapan bahawa saya sombong atau sukar didekati. Itulah first impression. I couldn't help but display that outlook...nak buat macamne kan...Tapi, sebenarnya, 'kesombongan' hanyalah topeng yang menyembunyikan rasa 'inferior' dalam diri saya. Hakikatnya, saya bukan begitu. Bak kata seorang rakan "hanya yang mengenali dapat menilai" (haha...poyo lagi). Tak kenal maka tak cinta ^ ^

reunion skj/sraj batch 93-98


Reunion yang kami anjurkan tahun lepas sangat-sangat menggembirakan saya. Akhirnya, saya dapat berjumpa dengan rakan-rakan lama, berbual-bual dengan mereka, bergelak ketawa bersama tanpa ada lagi barrier yang pernah 'ter'wujud satu masa dulu. Saya juga tak pasti bagaimana dan mengapa barrier itu perlu wujud. Ntahla, kadang-kadang, ada perkara yang kita sendiri susah nak explain or reason out. It just happened. Jika dulu saya rasa saya sudah bahagia dan berpuas hati dengan jumlah rakan saya yang masih mampu dibilang jari itu, kini, saya rasa lebih bahagia dengan bilangan yang bertambah. Seperti yang pernah saya nyatakan dalam entry sebelum ini, saya dan sepupu saya kini berkongsi circle of friends yang sama. Alhamdulillah, kebahagiaan persahabatan ini sangat-sangat saya syukuri. Semoga ukhwah ini akan terus didasari perasaan taqwa kepada Allah. Amin...

"Wahai manusia, Sungguh, Kami telah menciptakan kamu dari seorang laki-laki dan seorang perempuan, kemudian Kami jadikan kamu berbangsa-bangsa dan bersuku-suku agar kamu saling mengenali. Sungguh, yang paling mulia di antara kamu di sisi Allah ialah orang yang paling bertaqwa. Sungguh, Allah Maha Mengetahui, Mahateliti" (49:13)



fadz & amrien yang beraya di perantauan ^^

.::047 : mimpi yang tak sudah::.

Lately, I've been having bad dreams...
Just recently, I dreamt about "pontianak maya karin"...
Surprisingly, that wasn't a nightmare for me...
Regardless the fact that there was maya karin with her"pontianak" look, the dream turned out to be funny...it was a silly dream after all..hehe
And, this morning, while I am taking a little nap, I dreamt about Kiki...

In my dream, my sister 'killed' Kiki...

She doesn't want to take care of Kiki anymore because Kiki is having bad rashes...
She said she doesn't want her child to "berkudis sana-sini' (haha...bodonye reason)...
So, after Kiki took his bath, she quickly wrapped Kiki using old newspaper and just threw him out...(klaka lagi)
I wasn't noticed the absence of Kiki until I asked my sister about him...
At first, she refused to answer...
But, when asked "did you threw him out?", she nodded!! (Actually, I am just being sarcastic, not to expect it to be true...)
Upon hearing her answer, I cried "bagai x mahu" for I nearly faint...
I said to her that I've waited patiently for such a long period of time just to meet Kiki but she just threw him out before I even have a chance to play with him...
I said that how cruel she is to do such thing...
I further added that "a child is not always like we want him/her to be...it is a gift from God and should be appreciated no matter what" (ceh..ayat poyo)...
She then realized that she has made a big mistake and promised to look for Kiki...
She really hope that he is still alive....
(finished)


Haha...though this sounds so funny and very illogical (like typical dreams usually be), I think the dream did give an impact to me...
I think I am too looking forward in meeting him this december and it proves how I miss Kiki and the others damn much...
I pray that everything will be just fine...aminn...

.::046 : kerinduan...merindui...dirindui?::.

This is my family picture which was taken last year (eid 2006).
Standing (from left to right): sister and son (Noorasfahani & Danish Naqib), me (Amrien Hamila), brother (Akmal Hadi), younger brother (Afiq Haikal), sister-in-law (Rohani binti Mahmud).
Sitting (from left to right): brother-in-law & son (Mohd. Akmal Rifani bin Abu Hanifah & Danish Nafis), father (Ma'arop bin Radiman), mother (Maunah binti Hassan), elder brother & son (Amreel Huda & Firman Aimar)
Supposedly, the theme colour for our family was brown, but noticed the two people who were out of theme that day. Actually, my brother did wear brown but in a very dark shade that one could say it is black. So, in order to not make him the only odd person in the family, I decided to also wear black on that day (despite the fact that i don't have brown baju kurung ;P). It was the first time for our family to host radiman & co.'s annual raya gathering and in fact, it was the first raya celebrated at our new house (kembali ke kampung ^^). And, the first raya for nafis, naqib and iman too. This year, we have a new family member - kiki!! Though he may be in this year's family portrait, the photo will still be incomplete without me...hehe...
"It's okay, we'll surely need to take at least one family photo this eidul adha...insyaAllah"

This is my parents picture - abah and mak. Abah is a government pensioner who was just retiring early last year. Mak is a nurse who is looking forward to retire...hehe...She has about 2 years more to go before her retirement. People said I resemble my father more than my mother. Is that so? Maybe!! What I knew and will always remember that these two people have done so much for me. Thanks mak and abah for bring me to this point. Without your tender care and careful attention, I would never achieve what I have achieved right now.
"Honto ni arigato gozaimashita!!"


Hmm...these three little boys are my munchkins that are terribly missed. The twins are my sister's sons (Danish Nafis and Danish Naqib) and the green shirt boy is my elder brother's (Firman Aimar). They were born on the same year...so, there are of the same age. They call me with special name..."nana" (boleh ke? x bleh blah langsung...but it's okay, just for them ^^) Kiki (Darwisy Rifqi) wasn't yet born by the time this picture was taken. He is only 3 months old now.
"Nafis, naqib and iman, nana miss you so much. Take care dear and don't bully kiki okeih!"


This is the picture of my "so-called" best friends. The one in blue scarf is lina (Lina Liana binti Ahmad Adni). She is now doing medicine course at Universitas Andalas, Padang, Indonesia. A doctor-to-be...chewah. The one in light yellow scarf is fadz (Nurul Fadzilah binti Mat Sakam). She is now studying at University of Auckland, New Zealand. Same like me, a teacher-to-be...huhu. And next to her is nita (Norhanita binti Paiman). After completing her diploma at KUIS, Bangi, she is currently working (ceh..bley la minta duit raya nih...huhu). Both lina and nita are my second cousins. We are all stay at the same village...jenneedle village...muahaha...
**not in the picture: nazrah (Nurul Nazrah binti Nazarudin) (You are not left out dear...hehe)
"Guys, this relationship has been so long (14 years) and hope not to be broken no matter what happens"
I heart you!! Muaxx =)

Lastly, introducing my beloved lovely cousin...taty (Nurul Izati binti Sengun). She is currently doing her diploma at POLISAS, Kuantan. She was born a day before me. She was a good companion of mine when I was a small kid i.e. before I start schooling. But, as we grew up, due to certain circumstances like different class, different school, different interests (maybe)...we were not being close like we used to be. She had her own life as I had my own. She had her own circle of friends as I do had my own. She kept her own stories as I kept my own.
However, as time flies, people also change. It was only last year that we started to become close again. We began to mingle with the same circle of friends. We began to share stories. We began to do what we used to do together like during our childhood days. Owh...how I missed those moments!!
"Dear Taty, I love you so much...
You are like a sister to me...
I never want you to be hurt by anyone because if you suffer in pain, I'll suffer too..
Take care dear"


^^this is an entry of a person who is terribly missing those people...is this person being missed too? (soalan gedik)...hmm...not for me to answer...^^

.::045 : raya @ macquarie::.

bermain fireworks bersama @ unit 128
(iffah, zye, syal, rienmiel)


pagi raya @ unit 128
(kak tasya, rienmiel, lisa, kak fariza, kak hannah, aimi, kak ana,
kak wanie, kak fatin,
kak jaime, kak nisa, kak durra,
syikin, iffah, zye, syal)

f 2.2 reunited =)
(lisa, rienmiel, kak fatin, kak jaime, zye, syikin)

open house @ malaysian hall, randwick
(aimi, iffah, mia, venisha, zye,ida, syikin, rienmiel, syal, lisa, aini)

open house @ unit 37, macquarie university village
(kak farah, rienmiel, kak syada, iffah,
syal, kak wanie, zye, kak fariza,
syikin, kak hannah)

**walau tanpa keluarga terchenta di sisi, mereka2 inilah yang telah menceriakan sambutan aidilfitri saya di bumi kangaroo ini...thanks semua=)**

.::044 : eid cookies::.

almond london

250g butter
1 cup ising sugar
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla essence
2 1/2 cup wheat flour
1/2 cup corn flour
1 tablespoon rice flour
dry roasted almond

coating
cooking chocolate
granulated almond


mama carries

250g butter
1 cup ising sugar
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla essence
2 1/2 cup wheat flour
1/2 cup corn flour

topping
1 egg white
1 cup ising sugar
1 tablespoon corn flour

to scribble
nutella (use toothpick)


biskut dam

250g butter
1 cup ising sugar
4 tablespoon condensed milk
2 egg
2 teaspoon vanilla essence
3 cup wheat flour
1/2 cup powdered milk
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cup cocoa powder


biskut tiram

1 cup wheat flour
4 tablespoon butter
water
salt

coating
ising sugar

chef-d-mission: rienmiel


**orang yang tidak mendapat kiriman kuih raya boleh menjadi psycho dengan membuat kuih dengan banyaknya...
walau x sesedap mana...asal bleh blah je cukup...hehe
kepada mak di kampung, mesti mak bangga dengan anak mak yang dulu dilihat seperti tiada harapan lagi....
tak sia2 anak mak belajar overseas...muahaha
hmm..rindu nak buat kuih dengan mak =(

.::043 : buah melaka AU::.

all you need are:

1 cup rice glutinous flour
1 cup screwpine leaves juice / essence
salt

filling
1/4 cup grated palm sugar

coating
1/2 cup grated cocunut
salt

chef-d-mission: rienmiel

.::042 : cara berlauk AU::.

all you need are:

1 cup wheat flour
1 cup fresh milk
1 egg
salt
tumeric powder / yellow colouring

filling
diced onion
curry powder
diced potato
diced chicken
salt

chef-d-mission : rienmiel, iffah & syikin

.::041 : last minute work isn't always bad::.

haha...it is just today that i decided to make the above statement...
who would expect that statement would finally came out from my mouth...me neither...
but, it is too a certain degree, true...

i just don't know why my learning habits suddenly changed when i came here...
i am no longer make early preparation for my assignments neither send two or three drafts to be edited by the tutor...
to my surprise, i began to do assignments at the very last minute...
last minute to the extent that i just started writing the essay at 3 a.m in the morning when the assignment was supposed to due at 2 p.m the same day...scary huh?
maybe for some people, that situation is just normal...
but for me, it is not...
"keje gile" i would say...
but, sometimes, things are just out of control...
the issue of laziness should earlier be excluded from discussion although i would admit that this is also one of the contributing factor...
but, writer's block is my primary concern here...
it is so stressful when you tried so many times to get going with your assignments but you just cannot...
it is only at the eleventh hour that the ideas would running "bagai tak mahu"...
so, what can i do?
who is there to be blamed?

in this case, i always remember that everything is just the "ilham from Allah"...
maybe i am not having as much effort required to do the things i have to do...
maybe i just take things for granted...
maybe i just too relax...(who says i am relax? i am just not panic...that's my problem!!)

after so many times i did this (last minute assignments)...
i noticed that i did better in the assignments that i do last minute rather than the ones i finished earlier...
weird huh??
haha...thinking about this made me laugh...
the fact that "last minute assignment scored better" is interesting...
yet, it is something that i should never believe...
no...i don't want to take a risk...(although i already done that so many times...hehe)


whatever it is...the moral from this story are...

(1) each and everyone of us is a unique individual...thus, they have their own learning style...even if it may differ from all the people in the world...

(2) people change...sometimes, the changes may be too drastic that they may totally contradict with who and how the people used to be...either for the better or worse...

(3) in whatever you do, do not rush..or else you'll panic...doing any jobs when you are in a state of panic would affect the quality of your job...

(4) everything that happens to you even your mental processes are in the hands of Allah...so, if you are able to do things smoothly...be thankful to Allah...and if you are having problems with it, ask Allah to make it easier for you...that's the deal...

(5) do not make easy conclusion...my statement at the beginning of this entry would never always applicable...you have a life to risk...hehe

(6) plan your work...sometimes, it is difficult to follow what you plan...but at least, you know what you should do and when you failed to do it, at least you are prepared to face any consequences that awaits...hehe

**there's only 2 assignments left + 1 class test + 2 exams...after day=>holiday mode ^^
feeling excited to end this semester...
only about 2 months left to struggle...
gambatte ne!!!

.::040 : it's raya anyway::.

this is my first experience of celebrating eid @ overseas...without my family around...without new 'baju raya'...without long holidays...without this...without that...
but...
Allah is never mean...

despite all those lacking things, i gained many other wonderful things...
celebrating raya @ kg.macquarie (as mentioned by one of the seniors) is superb...
it's not easy to describe how i really feel and what i actually gain as replacement for the things that i lacked...
but, i feel very happy indeed...
happy to have all nice friends with me...

to the seniors,
feel very sad that you guys will no longer be with us next year...
frankly speaking, glad to know you guys...
if only we could spend longer time together so that we know each other better=(
one thing for sure, you guys have definitely brighten my days @ macquarie...
hope that we can still contact each other and remain friends even when we are apart...

alhamdulillah...
thanks Allah for all Your gifts...
for the opportunity to study @ overseas...
for the opportunity to know many people...
for the opportunity to learn the art of life...
for everything...everything that are never able to be listed...


.::039 : aku::.

salahkah aku
jika rasa kuat diri
teruskan hari

silapkah aku
jika rasa tabah hati
hadapi semua ini

khilafkah aku
jika terus cuba menafi
apa yang terbuku dalam hati

tidak....

bukan salah andai bersandiwara sendiri
bukan silap andai menjaga hati yang di kasihi
bukan khilaf andai air mata bertamu tidak henti

namun...

lebih baik jika berhenti menipu diri
lebih tepat jika bersikap jujur hati
lebih telus jika mampu membuang ego mati



.::038 : dan musim salju pun berlalu::.

Musim salju seakan sudah melabuhkan tirainya. Kini, giliran musim bunga pula mengambil tempat. Musim bunga memang cantik. Saya teruja tak terkira tatkala melewati kawasan-kawasan"garden" yang sudah mula di tata warna-warna flora yang ceria. MasyaAllah, sungguh indah ciptaan Allah ini...kagum saya di dalam hati. Musim bunga memang amat saya nantikan seawal tiba di negara empat musim ini. Tidak pasti samada saya memang suka akan bunga atau suka akan panorama berwarna-warni sebenarnya. Mungkin, kedua-duanya juga =)

Musim bunga kali ini juga menyaksikan betapa suhu atmosfera di sini juga turut sama bertukar. cara logiknya, perubahan musim memang mempunyai kaitan rapat dengan perubahan suhu. Cuma, perubahan suhu yang mendadak dari belasan darjah celcius ke tiga-puluhan darjah celcius memang suatu yang tidak saya jangkakan. Menurut hemat saya, cuaca begitu hanya akan dirasai semasa musim panas nanti. Namun, ternyata jangkaan saya meleset sama sekali. Di sini, apa sahaja kebarangkalian boleh berlaku. Sesungguhnya, semua itu adalah kuasa Allah semata-mata. Dia yang menetapkan apa yang dikehendaki-Nya. Sebagai hamba-Nya, kita harus terima apa sahaja yang berlaku dengan redha.

Semasa mendasari terjemahan surah An-Naba' tempohari, hati ini memang terasa amat gerun dengan peristiwa yang pasti berlaku suatu hari nanti. Ayat 17-30 dari surah An-Naba' menjelaskan bagaimana pada hari itu nanti, setelah sangkakala ditiupkan oleh Malaikat Israfil, langit yang selama ini terbina mantap dah kukuh, akan terpecah belah sehingga tiap-tiap belahannya menjadi ibarat pintu yang terbuka luas. Dan gunung-ganang, yang selama ini berdiri teguh bagaikan pasak bumi, akan hancur-lebur menjadi debu yang berterbangan di angkasa bak debu yang ditiup angin.

Dan manusia, setelah dihidupkan kembali selepas tiupan sangkakala yang kedua, akan berbondong-bondong menuju ke Padang Mahsyar. Seperti yang dijelaskan dalam surah A'basa, manusia pada hari itu akan lari dari saudaranya, lari dari ibu dan bapanya, lari dari isteri dan anak-anaknya. Betapa pada hari itu, semua orang mempunyai urusan yang menyibukkan. Pada hari itu, dikhabarkan bahawa matahari kadarnya hanya sejengkal di atas kepala. Apakah rasanya saat itu? Pedulikah kita pada kepanasan? Tidak!! Kepanasan bukanlah ukuran pada waktu itu. Masing-masing menunggu dengan debar saat untuk dihisab amalannya. Pertemuan dengan Allah kini adalah suatu yang pasti. Amat pasti!!

Rasanya, tak perlulah dijelaskan kedahsyatan azab api neraka dalam entry ini. Suasana hari kiamat sendiri pun sudah tak tergambar kengeriannya. Di kala waktu masih berbaki, detik masih bersisa, marilah kita sama-sama mengambil pengajaran. Jika panas di dunia pun tak tertanggung, apakah jaminan kita untuk menghadapi panas di Padang Mahsyar. Jika sibuk sedikit dengan tugasan, janganlah abaikan tanggungjawab2 yang dipikul - tanggungjawab terhadap Allah, ibu-bapa, rakan2 dan masyarakat sekeliling. Ingatlah, tiada istilah "sendiri-punya-hal" melainkan sewaktu kita "berbondong-bondong menuju ke Padang Mahsyar" kelak. Pada saat itulah yang selayaknya untuk kita sibuk dengan urusan masing2. Tidak sukar untuk memilih jalan derita, tidak juga payah untuk memilih jalan bahagia. Pilihan ada di tangan kita. Terserah untuk memilih jalan mana. Yang pasti, apa jua jalan yang bakal dituruti kelak, sudah ada jaminan dan habuan yang menanti....


**Pesanan ini ditujukan untuk diri sendiri khasnya dan di harap yang lain dapat mengambil iktibar.
**Untuk akhirnya, hayatilah lagu ini...bila waktu telah berakhir...


bagaimana kau merasa bangga
akan dunia yang sementara
bagaimanakah bila semua hilang dan pergi
meninggalkan dirimu

bagaimanakah bila saatnya
waktu terhenti tak kau sadari
masikah ada jalan bagimu untuk kembali
mengulangkan masa lalu

dunia dipenuhi dengan hiasan
semua dan segala yang ada akan
kembali padaNya

bila waktu tlah memanggil
teman sejati hanyalah amal
bila waktu telah terhenti
teman sejati tingallah sepi