i'm seriously clueless of what happened

i wonder what's the reason behind things

but whatever it is, i dont think she should do what she did

O Lord, please...we seriously need Your guidance..i beg

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Today is the 7th day of school holidays. This also means that I have been doing NOTHING that I could be proud of for A WEEK. *sigh*

And, today, when I was about to complete the whole series of Boys Over Flowers (read: AGAIN!!), I suddenly had the spirit of completing this one particular PROJECT. I wouldn't want to tell what exactly it is, but insyaAllah, once it is DONE, I'll publish it here =)

Gambatte ne!!

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Alhamdulillah. Another phase in my career life has passed and I shall wait for the next stop. Hopefully, everthing will be just fine...iAllah.

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

I know..I know..The topic sounds so "uhhh". But, that's what I've been thinking or should I say "reflecting" all this while. Maybe because I am a teacher. So, I've been observing people of different age levels. That's when I started thinking of all those things related to parenting.

Previously, when I was still "young" and "not-so-matured" (heh ;P), I used to think that getting married and having children is JUST another milestone in life. BUT, I seriously forgot the fact that MARRIAGE and CHILDREN are not as simple as how the words are spelt. Both comes with responsibility...read: RESPONSIBILITY (note the capital letters...heh). 

I don't know what people generally have in mind when they decide to get married but for me, marriage is something that we "do" with preparation. Preparation here not only means  good financial support but also physical and mental readiness. I am a person who strongly believes that one should equip themselves with knowledge before he/she gets married. Yes, LOVE is the core thing in a relationship but I believe it's the KNOWLEDGE and UNDERSTANDING of why we do things that will constantly remind us of the RESPONSIBILITY that we should assume to lead the marriage life well. Again, I realized that this is just a humble opinion from someone with no experience but at least, that's what I gained through observation.

Talking about KNOWLEDGE, it's again something that is not necessarily gained from formal process like attending courses. It could be acquired informally like through vicarious experience for example. We could read from various sources, we could observe it from other people or we could also ask around. We see and learn lots of things everyday. So, when the time comes for us to apply things, it's when we decide or choose what's the best way of doing things.

Somehow or rather, when I see my students and my nephews, I wonder how it's like for parents to raise  the children. Tell me, who wouldn't want a good, obedient kid that could be proud of all the time? But again, tell me, is there a specific formula for that? Oh, how I wish I knew that so I could tell everyone about it...heh~

As I walk further in my journey of life, I started to realize that life isn't getting any simpler but tougher.  And that makes me feel so thankful to Allah for having such parents. I started to appreciate them more than I did before. 

So, whatever difficulties we faced in any phase of life, I see that all as tests from Allah to see how well we could cope with challenges in life. InsyaAllah, I believe if we consistently seek guidance from HIM, in all matters, things would be a lot more easier and hopefully we would never go astray. Aminn. 

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

My first year of teaching has been a very prosperous year for me. I learnt a lot from the experience especially from each and every individual that I dealt with every single day. And before the new semester commences  soon, I think it would be a great idea if I were to record my experience and feelings dealing with those SPECIAL people in my life as educator.
 

orientation week...everyone looks so kudus...hmm =P

Okay, let me start with this "one-and-only-TESL3" group. Technically, they are my tutees (read: they still are  at the moment until God decides otherwise..huhu) and of course I am their tutor.  FYI, totur-tutee is more like mentor-mentee, class teacher-students...things like that. Actually, I have no idea what kind of role a tutor assume because those days,when I was a teacher trainer, I dont really bother about this mentor-mentee thing. All I know is my mentor should be keeping all my records, certificates, forms whatever and I were to get his/her signature if anything. That's the only schemata I had about it. But then, upon reading this one particular book about tutorship provided by HEP, I was really struck by this phrase "tutor sebagai ibu bapa angkat". OMG, what kind of job is this? I have yet to get married and now I am assuming parents roles...well done!! hahaha (read: obviously this is a fake laugh...heh)

berjimba@Lata Belatan...amboi..sakan btul dorg nih..heh~

Okay, let me tell you this. Being a tutor to 18/19 years old teenage is a very  interesting experience I should say. I have 33 "kids" to be taken care of and I do not know if I did things well. I can't even take care of my one and only brother who is about the same age as them and now nahh...33...read: thirty three. Obviously,  as a teacher, I had faced even larger group than that. But as a tutor, this is my very first experience and I tell you, it's a totally different situation. DIFFERENT!!

raya@beloved KDRI...haha

Somehow or rather, I feel this is some kind of a BLESSING from God. To teach them, to get to know their backgrounds, characteristics and personalities, to motivate and advice them, to listen to  their problems  and concerns, to share stories and spend time with them...everything...everything feels so priceless to me. At times, I really feel like I am their mother (OMG, how I feel so "old" talking about this...heh). The thing is, whenever something happened to them, like having fever, being sick and thus needed to be hospitalized, getting injured when playing sports, being badmouthed by others...I dont know why but I worried like hell (see...it sounded so much like a concern mummy aite...bluekk =P). It's not that I never remind myself that; "come on, they are just your students...STUDENTS!!" but I couldn't help myself from feeling what I feel. I have no idea why I feel so connected with them that I could feel so hurt if people talk bad about them and if they dissapoint me. Yeah, blame my high expectation towards them but this is how this person works. If I considered that person as someone close to me, I would have high expectation towards that person and the best part is, I would assume that person to understand what I expect them to do...too bad...too bad...haha.

random picas we took together (^_^)

One thing for sure, I will definitely remember what I had gone through with them. I do not know if I'd still be their tutor next semester. But whatever it is, I am so thankful for THE opportunity given by God. Not a single minute in my life, I ever regret having them as tutees. I always believe how good or bad things are, the only thing that God wants is for me to experience the best...and I am so grateful for that.

futsal time..and yeay the girls won it!! boys, jgn sdey k...u r still superb to me =D

    
To all my tutees, thank you for the wonderful moments that we shared together. I can't promise I would be the same person that you used to know because PEOPLE CHANGE. The only thing that would not change is the fact that we used to be one happy family before and whatever I did, my actions, words, feelings towards you are real...not fake ;)

annual dinner...tq 4 d cake guys =)

class photo...omg, i'm so stiff..haha~

Salam~

 Assalamualaikum W.B.T

One thing I forgot to consider when I decided to be a teacher is the fact that a TEACHER is a PUBLIC FIGURE in the institution that he/she works at. Yes, I knew that a teacher deals with people so to say that he/she she would be the centre of attention. But I thought that would be only in the classroom , as in the time when he/she is teaching. That's all I am prepared for.

Knowing that I would still be the centre of attention even after working hours i.e. the time I spend in the community, I never thought that people would "CARE" that much about me. I don't expect tehat people would seriously concern about me and my life to the extent that they keep record about "the place I go to", "the person I go out with", "the person I talk to", "the stuffs I do" etc.

Actually, I have no problems with that. The problem arose when they started speculating things. They created stories about me and the persons surround me. Again, I don't mind if they "SELL" good stories but you know, "BAD, CONTROVERSIAL" stories sold faster aite. So, what to do. Oopps, maybe I forgot that I am in a CELEBRITY WORLD now. Believe or not...heh~

But still, some stories do hurt my feelings and also the feelings of some people who are close to me. I am so upset of what had happened and I feel extremely disappointed with the person who spread such rumors. Yet,  I also know I have no rights to stop people from talking about me. The only right I have now is to minimize potential rumors. I should be more careful with my actions so as to eliminate source of "unwanted" stories. This is to say that perhaps, I should change...to a better person...iAllah.

So, to the people whom I used to be close to before, I am sorry if in the future, you find that I have become a slightly different person. It's not that I have stopped myself form "CARE" about you...but it's because I do not want you and the person near you to be "HURT", just like me. You know, gossips could KILL...heh! So,  whatever it is, I hope it's for the sake of everyone's happiness...insyaAllah.

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

This year marked it's own history in my journey of life as it's the first time for me to celebrate birthday more than twice...

Personally, I am not the type who fancy this "celebration" thingy....

Or maybe I should say, "it's not my CULTURE" haha...

However, last year itself I celebrated it twice =)

And this year, as a teacher-cum-lecturer, I celebrated it four times...what a number, aite...heh~

First

Date : 5th November 2010

Day : Friday

Time : 9.30 p.m.

Venue : Noodle Station, Kuala Terengganu

Description : 

The event was organized by a particular student and my KT besties: Zati n Salma =)

Yes, it was 2 weeks before the actual date and the reason being, they worried if they did not have time to do it later on since my birthday falls during school holidays...

So, basically...they had a successful surprise I guess...thumbs up!! haha...

It's just that...sometimes, I could sense things okay my dears...

So...don't ever trigger me kay (^_^)

Second

Date : 8th November 2010

Day : Monday

Time : 10.00 p.m.

Venue : Sri Wangsa Restaurant, Gong Badak, Kuala Terengganu

Description : 

The celebration was only a part of the big event: TESL 3 Annual Dinner.
It was organized by my beloved tutees...(omg, luckily they did this...or else...dont know what to say about them...haha...*evil laugh*)
I taught THE surprise was directed to Mr. O.D. but suddenly they sang a birthday song...
I seriously wondered if Mr. O.D.'s birthday was on that particular date...
But then again...GOTCHA...it turned out to be for me...
"surprise la sangat yer" haha...
Whatever it is, I really appreciate that my dears...
and as a sign of appreciation, I did what I did...(suap-menyuap kek ha....hahadoii)
Frankly speaking, I rarely did that to just anybody...so to say that "they are not just anybody to me"...huhu...

Third

Date : 12th November 2010

Day : Friday

Time : 10.00 p.m.

Venue : Paradise Deluxe, Kuala Terengganu

Description :
The celebration was again a part of the big event: Math 1 Annual Dinner.
Actually, to be frank, the moment a few of them insisted me on attending this dinner had itself triggered me...
But, I would say that they had carried out the surprise so smoothly that I did not notice things...haha
From one side, I felt awkward to be part of their event but from another side, I felt honoured and appreciated...
So, basically...I would like to say "Thank You!!"

Fourth

Date : 19th November 2010

Day : Friday

Time : 10.00 p.m.

Venue : Kampung Jenjarom, Kuala Langat
Description:
Aha...this was the REAL celebration because it was done on the day itself...huhu...
Actually, I had no intention to celebrate it at a large scale...my family would do...
But, since my uncle was holding a feast, we (read: my cousin, who celebrated her birthday on the 18th, and I) decided to join in the celebration...
We bought 2 cakes and ended up not specifying the cakes to any particular individuals because we have a few cousins who celebrated birthday in November...
Basically, whoever were there would have all rights to blow the candle together...weeeeee =D
I hope that this very first event-like-this could be done in annual basis because it's not merely a typical celebration but more to family gathering...iAllah

So, that's basically it is for this year...
Alhamdulillah...indeed, I feel so blessed...
Thanks to ALL...muahhhhh...

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

In 2 weeks time, I had involved in 2 accidents...
1 involving cars...
another 1 involving motorcycles...
but none caused any external bleeding...alhamdulillah...
what I learnt is both are SIGNS from GOD...yeah...SIGNS or REMINDER from HIM...

1st accident
Date : 9th November 2010 (10 days before my Bday)
Day : Tuesday
Time : 11.15 a.m.
Location : Kuala Terengganu (right in front of the college's gate)
Description :
- two cars were involved: Red Persona (ours) and Blue Saga (theirs).
- we were at the junction - about to turn right - didn't see the Blue Saga heading to us due to busy road - panic and stopped at the middle of the road right after we noticed the car - being hit by the Saga - the end!
- luckily we were all safe except the fact that the Persona needed to get the two doors and the dashboard changed and I got bruises on my knee and my two fingers.

2nd accident
Date : 23rd November 2010 (4 days after my Bday)
Day : Tuesday
Time : 9.15 a.m.
Location : Banting (at the car's garage)
Description:
- two motorcycles were involved: Yamaha Nouvo (mine) and Yamaha RXZ (my bro's).
- i incidently hit the parked RXZ because the Nouvo's starter didn't function well that i couldn't control it well.
- luckily nothing serious happened except the fact that the front part of Nouvo's is broken and my brother put THE face knowing that someone 'hurt' his beloved bike...but, like it purposely did it...duhh...

Fasbeer sabran jameela..

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Alhamdulillah....how time flies...

I have survived my 1st year of teaching...

I do not know how I did that...

(because I don't have the chance to read and "khatam" any particular book about it...heh) 

but somehow or rather...I managed to complete that...

There are so many stories that I would like to share here...

Some are work-related...some are personal-related...

But in this one month, I'll try my best to record every single memorable experience that I had during that period of time...

Sweet memories, nightmare, happiness, sadness, laughter, tears...all mixed up...

But one thing for sure...I LEARNT A LOT from this experience and thanks to YOU who'd become part of that experience ;)

So, check it out later kay!!!

 

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

First of all, I would like to wish all the teachers and students in Malaysia...HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

OMG, I feel so blessed to be given this opportunity...again!!

Enough of work...penats kot...

I need rest...haha~

Actually, I know that I have been a passive blogger these days...

So, blame the time and internet connection factors...haha..*evil laugh*

Plus, I am still traumatize kot..of what had happened last few months...

Tapi kan, do i care...i still love expressing myself...

So, the only way is to blog...coz i know i am free to say anything and about everything...

It's just that I have to be a bit more careful this time...

Also, I have decided not to delete whatever I have written in this blog...

If people were to read and to speculate things...let it be...

If they really want to know the truth...I believe they will ask about it...

The moment they choose to assume, I guess I couldn't help it but to give them the rights to do so...

I am so tired of "trying to explain" things...

Enough kot...that's what i did only during working hours...haha...

Okay...enough for this entry...

I'll write more...for sure...iAllah :)

Salam~