For me, it's very important to set a goal before doing anything... Without a clear goal, I find it difficult to get things going for I'll either stuck in the middle or stop doing it there and then...
Call me serious or whatever... but "doing things just for fun"...is so not me... coz I find it a waste of time if I do things for no particular reasons or if I see no future of doing it... unless I have decided at the very beginning that "okay, let's waste the time and let's have fun" ;P
So, sometimes...I don't quite agree with some people's action or attitude towards something that I would consider as a serious matter... like study, work or relationship for example...
But I know, everyone of us have our own perception towards that... so, I can't be egocentric by telling them what they should or should not do for I have no right to interfere in other people's life...
All I could do is to learn from other's experience and to do what I believe is the best for me and others too...(if possible) :)
Bila kita bicara tentang impian, semua orang pasti memilikinya... Tapi selalunya...impian itu terlalu jauh untuk dicapai... Bukan mustahil tapi terkadang kurang realistik...
Saya juga punya banyak impian... Tapi saya sedar, dalam memasang angan-angan, kaki haruslah tetap berpijak di atas bumi yang nyata... Menjadi idealistik dan realistik...sudah semestinya tak sama...
Saya akui, sikap pesimis yang ada dalam diri saya terkadang buat saya tertinggal di belakang... Tapi...sikap itulah yang selama ini buat saya teguh melayari kehidupan dan tabah menghadapi apa jua rintangan yang hadir... Kerana saya sebenarnya sudah bersedia untuk menerima sebarang kemungkinan...baik yang positif mahupun yang negatif... Tapi selalunya...yang negatif lebih 'dominant' dari yang negatif... Supaya kiranya yang buruk terjadi...saya akan berkata pada diri saya..."dah agak dah"... dan kiranya yang baik terjadi...saya bersyukur... Itu lah sebenarnya cara saya mendinding diri saya dari kekecewaan dan kegembiraan melampau... Supaya saya tak terlalu beremosi tatkala kegagalan menjengah datang... Dan cepat sedar kalau yang berlaku itu semuanya perancangan Tuhan...
Saya tahu saya terlalu berhati-hati dalam melangkah... Saya tahu kalau saya terlalu 'play safe' dalam apa jua yang saya lakukan... Saya sedar itu semua dan saya tahu sikap sebegitu boleh menghalang saya untuk menjadi individu yang lebih cemerlang...
Tapi, saya rasa amat sukar untuk mengikis sikap2 tersebut dari diri saya... Entahlah...mungkin saya sendiri yang tak mahu membuang sikap itu... Mungkin kerana saya terlalu takut untuk menerima kekecewaan... Kecewa apabila sesuatu yang saya hajatkan tak kesampaian...
Jadi, mungkin sebab itu juga saya tak pernah bercita-cita tinggi dalam kehidupan... Dan menjalani hidup hari demi hari... Yang pasti...hanya redha Allah yang saya harapkan akan mengisi detik-detik perjalanan... supaya apa yang saya lakukan...walaupun tampak kecil di mata manusia...tapi besar sahamnya untuk kehidupan abadi di akhirat sana...insyaAllah
Everyone must have their own ambition... or at least what they are going to do or be in years to come...
Of course, I have mine too... even it's just a normal target that everyone would have set, i've sort of pictured how my life could possibly be in the future...
However, as humans... we sometimes tend to forget... that the power of planning and determining is beyond our capabilities... it is Allah who plans and decides everything...
Sometimes, when we want 'less', we'll get 'more' and some other times, when we want 'more', we'll get 'less'
Why? because it's not about what we 'want' but what we 'need' and we ourselves won't know what we REALLY need in life... for we are not the owner of if... but HIM...
So I guess, for whatever things that happened in life... we should always believe that it's the best for us...
Yeah, it could be frustrating at times when we didn't get what we want... but learning to appreciate what we have... is something really worth doing...I believe
The conclusion is simple: planning is not wrong... but never forget Allah in your plan... for if the plan did not work... you'll not be dissapointed nor blaming anyone or anything... because you know He's the best Planner of all :)
there are times... especially when "bengongness" strikes... that you think what you should not think... that you feel what you should not feel... that you do what you should not do...
sometimes, the things that you think, feel or do... are so irrelevant... and yet...you do it...
that's when you really need that 'rationality' back...
so now, wake up...wake up... don't get carried away by that stupid feelings ;P
oh, how I hate this 'bengong'ness ^^
Salam~
p/s: now I trust that fella... I got my magazines already :) ...feel so stupid to be mad at Mam just now... where's the 'patience' that my students used to adore...haha...(maybe I need them :P)
Sometimes, what happened around you could make you feel pressure... Though you feel nothing at first, the feeling of 'something' gradually develops either you realize it or not...
Sometimes, having such feeling is good but it could also be harmful at times...
And I - I hate being pressured by my surroundings =P But at the same time, I know nothing much could be done... except... To put the full trust in Allah and let Him decides the best path for me :)
Friday (02/10/09) - After school, we had a 'date' with 4SC1 students. Actually, the date was more for Izzati. I just accompanied her. Venue: McDonald Pandan Mewah. Time: 2.00 p.m. We were late for 'the date' because imagine, we reached home at about 1.45 p.m. We were fortunate enough that K*a*k*M*i*n offered to send us home. Thanks kak. We really appreciate that. - We were at the McD till 4.30 p.m. I think. Then, we walked back home.
- At about 6.00 p.m., we went to Paragon to do some grocery shopping. Finished at around 7.45 p.m. and reached home around 8.00 p.m. - By the time we reached home, I think my body was totally exhausted. I need rest...please...hehe
Saturday (03/10/09) - Today, our students are coming to our house. We were not holding an open house... but just a small makan2 for those who come beraya la konon2... - Believe it or not, I have to cook for my students. The last time I cooked was 10 months ago kot when I was in Sydney. I never did that once I am in Malaysia because...you know, there seemed no need for me to do so kan...hehe. So, I tried my best la to serve my students. I did not cook much...just fried bihun...but for about 4 round kot. Just bear with the taste la guys...as long as none of you got diarrhoea...hehe.
- The first group came at about 11.00 a.m. They are 4SC1 and 4SC2 boys + 1 4PA1 + 2 little boys. About 16 of them. Then came the second group. The 4SC1 girls+ 1 4SC2 girls + 1 4SC1 boy. About 11 people. Next, came the 4EK group. 6 boys and 1 girl + their 4 friends. After that, came Ashira's group from 4SC2. She came with another 4 girls... Zaleha, Maz, Nabila and Mai (if I am not mistaken). Kah Weng from 4EK came alone around 5.00 p.m. He's from Fateha's place. The last group to come was 7 4EK boys + 1 4PA1 boys and their 3 friend. They were at our place from 8.30 p.m. until 9.20 p.m. I think. And that was the last group we received. Around 55++ Form 4 students from S*e*r*a*y*a came to our house and that excluding quite a big number of Form 2 students. OMG, what a record la kan...haha. "arienai itsu no" (mimic Makino's style...hehe)
with 4S2RC girls
with 4EK students
with 4SC1 n 4S2RC students
with 4SC1, 4S2RC n 4PA1 boys
- Whatever it is, thanks for coming guys. You've made our first raya as teacher very memorable and special ;) - That night, most of us slept early except me who chatted until 2.30 in the morning. What an energy la kan ;P
Sunday (04/10/09) - Woke up as early as 6.00 a.m. I know it's not as early as usual but I think I still have not got enough rest...hehe. - Having my shower and breakfast before I start packing stuffs. Today, we are moving out from the place. You know, the feeling is never different from what I feel when packing things in Macquarie 10 months ago. Unfortunately, I did not take any pictures during that time or you can see how terrible the house looked like at that time. Like 'tongkang pecah' pun ade..hehe. - My parents came at about 3.30 p.m. and after loading the car with as much things as possible, we rushed back to i*p*b*a and reached there at around 5.00 p.m. - So now, I am back to my normal routine...
Although the week has been so tiring for me, I'll never forget what happened during those period (that's why I wrote it here ^^) because that would be one of the most meaningful week I ever had in my life :)
Too many things happened last week that I have no time to update my blog...Although I am all excited to write about it, it is only now that I can squeeze some time to do that...Okay, lets begin on what happened from Monday until Sunday last week...
Monday (28/09/09) - Visited Kak D's house...beraya la konon2. We were at her place till 4 p.m. I think. Then, she send us back to school for our 'project'
- About 4.00 p.m. ++, we started our mural project. For a non-professional painter who never paints before (referring to myself), it took us almost 2 hours just to paint the background...haha... We ended up going back with the afternoon session teachers... Waaaaa, reached home at about 7.30 p.m. kot coz we straight away went to the night market after school.
Tuesday (29/09/09) - Attended choral speaking practice after school.
- After that, we continued our 'unfinished' work. We started a little bit early today. Managed to finished our simple mural. I know it’s not even reach the standard but that’s all we could do…hehe
- Today, again we went back at 6.45 p.m., together with our friends...
Wednesday (30/09/09)
- Had my last observation. Hooray…I finally free from this torture…hehe
- Attended choral speaking practice after school.
- No more painting today as Izzati had to go back early…preparing for her last observation tomorrow.
- Reached home at about 4.00 p.m. I think...
Thursday (01/10/09)
- My last class with 4EK and 4PA1…so, nothing much I teach but taking photos with them…hehe…
- Attended the last choral speaking practice after school.
- We left school about 3.00 p.m. for we have to get ready to go to Jalan TAR at about 3.45 p.m.
- Reached Jalan TAR at about 4.30 p.m. Looking for gifts for our co-operating teachers and the school. Departed from Masjid Jamek Station at about 8.00 p.m. and reached Pandan Mewah at about 9.00 p.m. OMG, I am already flat by now :(
- OMG, I forget that I might owe *A*c*a*p a lunch treat… He already treated my twice… I don’t feel good if I did not treat him even once. But, I don’t think I still have time to do that… Hmm…bile2 la eh… Thanks anyway ;)
Friday (02/10/09)
- My last day at school. I have to settle few things. First, the Gerko Form. Second, the attendance Form. Third, the Good Luck cards for the students. Fourth, my lesson plan.
- A*c*a*p asked me if I wanted to replace him to enter 4SC2/RC for this is my last day at school. At first, I said no because I do not know what to do with them since I’ll be taking over C*i*k*g*u*P*a*b*i*l’s last period. But, I think he knows that I can be easily persuaded kot… So, I finally agree and what I did in the class was to ask my students to write their evaluation about me. Luckily, I got some task for them to do or else I’m afraid they’ll bored seeing my face the whole day today ;P
- At 10.40 a.m, I was invited to the class when my time should be at 10.50 a.m. I was at the office at that time. Before that, everybody seems to be talking about the party the class is holding. My reaction? Of course I pretend not to know anything about it when I am actually well aware of it. Why not? They collected money right in front of my eyes during my class. What is there to hide my dear…hehe.
- However, as I walked to the block, I met U*d*i*n and Y*a*n on their way back to their block. I asked them why there were still there when their class should have started. They claim that they were from 4S2RC, helping friends to set up things. OMG, this time I was nervous. I don’t know why I feel like that but when it comes to U*d*i*n, I wonder what was the thing that he set up.
- I continued my way to the class. As I reached the class, I saw the door was closed. I was hesitated to open it, thinking of U*d*i*n’s involvement in this conspiracy…hehe. I waited outside and I knew they were waiting inside. Finally I asked, “Korang buat ape ni?” And they replied, “Teacher masuk je la”. Carefully opened the door, I could see few boys queuing up in front of the class and one by one gave me flowers. OMG, this was something that I never expect to happen. That was so sweeeeeeeeet dear. I’m so sorry for doubting you. Maybe you know how much I hate pranks…hehe. Whatever it is, honto ni arigatou gozaimasu!!! I don’t know what to say and what to feel at that moment. All these are beyond my expectation. What I knew is that I feel so touched with your effort. Never in my live haveI felt so happy like this. Thanks guys :)
the cake
the gift
Before we went back, I met the senior colleagues and say thanks for their warm welcome and hospitality. I do not why I felt so touched that I nearly cry when I shake hand and bid farewell to them. Thanks for everything sisters and it's my apology if I ever hurt your feelings in any ways. See ya and good bye S*e*r*a*y*a
Actually, there’s more to write but I feel so tired to do so…
"I choose to remember the past for that's what makes the present me. I choose to record the present for that's what I would treasure in the future. I choose not to dream about the future for I believe it's already THERE; in the Knowledge of ALLAH. And my choices are basically voluntary."
