yeay...it's holiday again...
after seven weeks of class, we finally get a two-week off...

as usual, my definition of holiday seems to mean "berehat dari dunia buku2 akademik"...heheh...
though it never be my intention in the very first place, that is how my semester break will turn out to be in the end...
so, what to say...sendiri mau ingat la kan...huhu

but, i hope my holiday this time won't turn out to be like those previous ones...
i have clearly written my to-do-list for this break especially my ramadhan resolution...
i hope i could work it out...insyaAllah...
i really wish that this two-week break will be utilized wisely...

dakara...say no to laziness...TAK NAK!!!

The issue of "reasons and excuses" has been my never-ending conflict since before. Sometimes, I myself wasn't able to differentiate between those two. Quite often in my life, I wasn't sure whether i am giving reasons or just making excuses. So, what's the difference actually?

Hmm...after examining the issue through the process of cognition, I think I have found the answer - the answer that may only be applicable for me. Some people may agree with me while some others may not. This is just a matter of opinion, perspective, personal view - no right or wrong - maybe.

Okay, here is my interpretation of "reasons vs excuses"

Reasons
- people give reasons rather than create it .
- normally facts-based / supported by evidence.
- reasoning is one the criteria in higher order thinking process.
- often conveyed in a confident manner with higher level of certainty.

Excuses
- people usually make / creat / construct excuses.
- frequently have no solid base / constructed based on creativity.
- higher order thinking? no comment. maybe will be included in future studies sooner.
- often conveyed vaguely with some degree of uncertainty. sometimes they are ambiguous and need clarification.

**Those criteria are not plain generalization. Note the use of adverb of frequency. hehe.

So, what exactly my point here? I don't know. I just think this issue is quite interesting as many people including me are actually confuse with these two concepts. For example, assuming you missed your Subuh prayer, what will you say then? Not to other people but to yourself. Will you give reasons or make excuses? I don't know. Responses like "I overslept because I slept late last night" or "I heard my alarm clock rang, but I just could not wake up" are sometimes difficult to categorize - which is which? It's for us to think.

There's a lot more examples to illustrate the complexity of this issue. Assuming it is prayer time and you said you'll pray later because you want to finish your homework first. Assuming you are invited by a friend to perform a tarawikh prayer together and you said you may not going to perform tarawikh prayer on that night you have not study for your test tomorrow. Assuming there is an islamic talk held in the mosque near your housing area and you said you are not going to join it because you have attended it once. All these responses shared one similarity - all of them are answering the question of "why" but which of those "because ...." can be considered as reasons? Or are they merely created excuses?

Hmm...all of those responses were basically collected from my own reseach with me being the participant (some responses are modified to suit the context of discussion...hehe). I would admit that I always make excuses when I think I am giving reasons. But, with self-realization, I hope I would get over all those excuses after this especially when it comes to "seeking for mardhotillah". I have to be firm with myself - no more tolerance. Even if I were asked to do "negative" things, I think I should start giving reasons rather than creating excuses as an indication of my refusal. With good reasoning, I think other people will pay more respect to me. That's my point =)

Moral of the story: Let us stop making excuses. Be more critical - reasons are better than excuses. It's better to say nothing rather than give lame excuses. (aduh...menusuk jiwa sendiri..huhu)

alhamdulillah...
i'm counting days right now...waiting for ramadhan to come...
when i was young (i'm no longer young now i guess...huhu), ramadhan merely means a month before syawal...i.e hari raya..yeay...
nothing much to say about it...

but, as i grew up...i began to discover and realize that there's something special and more meaningful about ramadhan...
it is not easy to describe what i feel right now...
yeah..it's true that ramadhan is a month that is full with barakah...
we are given so many opportunities to gain rewards and bounties...alhamdulillah...
but, without self-realization, all those hikmah and barakah could be ignored just like that...isn't...
i'm so grateful that i still get the opportunity to realize what i should realize from the very beginning...
no regret...i think it is better late than never...as they always say...

though i'm spending my ramadhan this year in a country where islam isn't the official religion...i think it's ok...
it may sounds pity as i am afar from my family...
but, it is this place that 'taught' me many things especially about my religion...
i began to understand my religion better...
for me now, islam is not merely a religion...it is the way of life that i should lead...
with this understanding, i could feel that my life has gradually changed...alhamdulillah...
i gradually find the tranquility that i longed for since before...
alhamdulillah...

**my knowledge of cohesion and thematic progression extremely agree for this entry to be rejected by linguist...x coherent langsung...huhu...

i called my family today...
glad to hear from my sister...
we talked lots of things particularly about her sons...
she reported that naqib cries a lot nowadays...being bullied by nafis and iman i guess...
she claimed that though naqib seemed to be kerek, he is actually penakut...
and though nafis and iman looked lombo, they are actually more otai than naqib...haha..whatever dear...i still miss you guys...
the most interesting part is when naqib non-stoply cried when i was talking to my sister...
imagine...the loudness of his voice could be heard even in Australia...what a distance..aish...
and for rifqi aka kiki...she said that he looked like shin-chan...boley ke...x bleh blah langsung...
actually, i have not had the chance to see rifqi's pictures...still wondering how he look like...who did he resemble the most...his mom or dad...hehe...x kisah pun...
what important now is that...i am really looking forward in meeting them this december...just another 3 months...lama x lama la nih...huhu

talked with my mum also, reporting my achievement in baking a moist chocolate cake yestesday...
she was so interested in knowing the recipe...
i ended up giving her a cooking lesson..what an irony...huhu...
i wonder whether my mom was really interested to bake the cake or just being supportive..hehe...
xpe mak...i still love you..mucho!!

actually, i kind of sleepy right now...
so, this entry is just a crappy rambling of mine...
bear with it..daa...

hmm...at last syal have managed to create her own blog after so much time spend on deciding which template to be used as her blog layout...
it's okay syal..making decision is always not easy...hehe...
and guess what?? i was the first person who commented on it...sorry iffah...you are just one second late...huhu

last week was a miserable week for me...
i don't know why...
i talked unnecessary things a lot, a laughed a lot, i ate a lot, and the most important point here is that i did lots of things that i don't want to do...
i thought i could cope with all those things yet i realized that i couldn't continue my life like that...it's was so distressing...
my life became chaos...totally in a mess...

sometimes, i think being tolerant is very important...and i tried...
but too much tolerance made me tired especially when the person you expect to understand you didn't really recognized your tolerance...(though i have no expectations..hehe)
i'm not saying that i'm 'berkira'...and i know i should never do...
i'm just expressing my feeling that i was in a great exhaustion last week..physically, mentally, spiritually...
i was so tired, fatigue and what so ever that i incidently sweated (ke??) through my eyes...magic wasn't it?? huhu...

but, today..here i am...declaring myself to be fine...
i'm okay now and i think i should go back to the normal cycle of my life...
being the normal and usual alimahneirma...maybe better ones...i hope...iA...
kind of excited to be normal again...bley ke cakap camni...haha
okay..chiaw...