Assalamualaikum W.B.T

there are times...
especially when "bengongness" strikes...
that you think what you should not think...
that you feel what you should not feel...
that you do what you should not do...

sometimes, the things that you think, feel or do...
are so irrelevant...
and yet...you do it...

that's when you really need that 'rationality' back...

so now, wake up...wake up...
don't get carried away by that stupid feelings ;P

oh, how I hate this 'bengong'ness ^^

Salam~

p/s: now I trust that fella... I got my magazines already :)
...feel so stupid to be mad at Mam just now... where's the 'patience' that my students used to adore...haha...(maybe I need them :P)

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Sometimes, what happened around you could make you feel pressure...
Though you feel nothing at first, the feeling of 'something' gradually develops either you realize it or not...

Sometimes, having such feeling is good but it could also be harmful at times...

And I -
I hate being pressured by my surroundings =P
But at the same time, I know nothing much could be done...
except...
To put the full trust in Allah and let Him decides the best path for me :)

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Friday (02/10/09)
- After school, we had a 'date' with 4SC1 students. Actually, the date was more for Izzati. I just accompanied her. Venue: McDonald Pandan Mewah. Time: 2.00 p.m. We were late for 'the date' because imagine, we reached home at about 1.45 p.m. We were fortunate enough that K*a*k*M*i*n offered to send us home. Thanks kak. We really appreciate that.
- We were at the McD till 4.30 p.m. I think. Then, we walked back home.

- At about 6.00 p.m., we went to Paragon to do some grocery shopping. Finished at around 7.45 p.m. and reached home around 8.00 p.m.
- By the time we reached home, I think my body was totally exhausted. I need rest...please...hehe

Saturday (03/10/09)
- Today, our students are coming to our house. We were not holding an open house... but just a small makan2 for those who come beraya la konon2...
- Believe it or not, I have to cook for my students. The last time I cooked was 10 months ago kot when I was in Sydney. I never did that once I am in Malaysia because...you know, there seemed no need for me to do so kan...hehe. So, I tried my best la to serve my students. I did not cook much...just fried bihun...but for about 4 round kot. Just bear with the taste la guys...as long as none of you got diarrhoea...hehe.

- The first group came at about 11.00 a.m. They are 4SC1 and 4SC2 boys + 1 4PA1 + 2 little boys. About 16 of them. Then came the second group. The 4SC1 girls+ 1 4SC2 girls + 1 4SC1 boy. About 11 people. Next, came the 4EK group. 6 boys and 1 girl + their 4 friends. After that, came Ashira's group from 4SC2. She came with another 4 girls... Zaleha, Maz, Nabila and Mai (if I am not mistaken). Kah Weng from 4EK came alone around 5.00 p.m. He's from Fateha's place. The last group to come was 7 4EK boys + 1 4PA1 boys and their 3 friend. They were at our place from 8.30 p.m. until 9.20 p.m. I think. And that was the last group we received. Around 55++ Form 4 students from S*e*r*a*y*a came to our house and that excluding quite a big number of Form 2 students. OMG, what a record la kan...haha. "arienai itsu no" (mimic Makino's style...hehe)

with 4S2RC girls

with 4EK students

with 4SC1 n 4S2RC students

with 4SC1, 4S2RC n 4PA1 boys

- Whatever it is, thanks for coming guys. You've made our first raya as teacher very memorable and special ;)
- That night, most of us slept early except me who chatted until 2.30 in the morning. What an energy la kan ;P

Sunday (04/10/09)
- Woke up as early as 6.00 a.m. I know it's not as early as usual but I think I still have not got enough rest...hehe.
- Having my shower and breakfast before I start packing stuffs. Today, we are moving out from the place. You know, the feeling is never different from what I feel when packing things in Macquarie 10 months ago. Unfortunately, I did not take any pictures during that time or you can see how terrible the house looked like at that time. Like 'tongkang pecah' pun ade..hehe.
- My parents came at about 3.30 p.m. and after loading the car with as much things as possible, we rushed back to i*p*b*a and reached there at around 5.00 p.m.
- So now, I am back to my normal routine...

Although the week has been so tiring for me, I'll never forget what happened during those period (that's why I wrote it here ^^) because that would be one of the most meaningful week I ever had in my life :)

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Too many things happened last week that I have no time to update my blog... Although I am all excited to write about it, it is only now that I can squeeze some time to do that... Okay, lets begin on what happened from Monday until Sunday last week...

Monday (28/09/09)
- Visited Kak D's house...beraya la konon2. We were at her place till 4 p.m. I think. Then, she send us back to school for our 'project'
- About 4.00 p.m. ++, we started our mural project. For a non-professional painter who never paints before (referring to myself), it took us almost 2 hours just to paint the background...haha... We ended up going back with the afternoon session teachers... Waaaaa, reached home at about 7.30 p.m. kot coz we straight away went to the night market after school.

Tuesday (29/09/09)
- Attended choral speaking practice after school.
- After that, we continued our 'unfinished' work. We started a little bit early today. Managed to finished our simple mural. I know it’s not even reach the standard but that’s all we could do…hehe
- Today, again we went back at 6.45 p.m., together with our friends...

Wednesday (30/09/09)

- Had my last observation. Hooray…I finally free from this torture…hehe

- Attended choral speaking practice after school.

- No more painting today as Izzati had to go back early…preparing for her last observation tomorrow.

- Reached home at about 4.00 p.m. I think...

Thursday (01/10/09)

- My last class with 4EK and 4PA1…so, nothing much I teach but taking photos with them…hehe…

- Attended the last choral speaking practice after school.

- We left school about 3.00 p.m. for we have to get ready to go to Jalan TAR at about 3.45 p.m.

- Reached Jalan TAR at about 4.30 p.m. Looking for gifts for our co-operating teachers and the school. Departed from Masjid Jamek Station at about 8.00 p.m. and reached Pandan Mewah at about 9.00 p.m. OMG, I am already flat by now :(

- OMG, I forget that I might owe *A*c*a*p a lunch treat… He already treated my twice… I don’t feel good if I did not treat him even once. But, I don’t think I still have time to do that… Hmm…bile2 la eh… Thanks anyway ;)

Friday (02/10/09)

- My last day at school. I have to settle few things. First, the Gerko Form. Second, the attendance Form. Third, the Good Luck cards for the students. Fourth, my lesson plan.

- A*c*a*p asked me if I wanted to replace him to enter 4SC2/RC for this is my last day at school. At first, I said no because I do not know what to do with them since I’ll be taking over C*i*k*g*u*P*a*b*i*l’s last period. But, I think he knows that I can be easily persuaded kot… So, I finally agree and what I did in the class was to ask my students to write their evaluation about me. Luckily, I got some task for them to do or else I’m afraid they’ll bored seeing my face the whole day today ;P

- At 10.40 a.m, I was invited to the class when my time should be at 10.50 a.m. I was at the office at that time. Before that, everybody seems to be talking about the party the class is holding. My reaction? Of course I pretend not to know anything about it when I am actually well aware of it. Why not? They collected money right in front of my eyes during my class. What is there to hide my dear…hehe.

- However, as I walked to the block, I met U*d*i*n and Y*a*n on their way back to their block. I asked them why there were still there when their class should have started. They claim that they were from 4S2RC, helping friends to set up things. OMG, this time I was nervous. I don’t know why I feel like that but when it comes to U*d*i*n, I wonder what was the thing that he set up.

- I continued my way to the class. As I reached the class, I saw the door was closed. I was hesitated to open it, thinking of U*d*i*n’s involvement in this conspiracy…hehe. I waited outside and I knew they were waiting inside. Finally I asked, “Korang buat ape ni?” And they replied, “Teacher masuk je la”. Carefully opened the door, I could see few boys queuing up in front of the class and one by one gave me flowers. OMG, this was something that I never expect to happen. That was so sweeeeeeeeet dear. I’m so sorry for doubting you. Maybe you know how much I hate pranks…hehe. Whatever it is, honto ni arigatou gozaimasu!!! I don’t know what to say and what to feel at that moment. All these are beyond my expectation. What I knew is that I feel so touched with your effort. Never in my live haveI felt so happy like this. Thanks guys :)

the cake

the gift

Before we went back, I met the senior colleagues and say thanks for their warm welcome and hospitality. I do not why I felt so touched that I nearly cry when I shake hand and bid farewell to them. Thanks for everything sisters and it's my apology if I ever hurt your feelings in any ways. See ya and good bye S*e*r*a*y*a

Actually, there’s more to write but I feel so tired to do so…

So, part 2 will be posted after this entry…

Till then...

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Ahh...my holidays had finally come to its end....
got to settle everything that I postponed by today itself...by hook or by crook...
why? 'coz many other things are waiting for me starting from tomorrow onwards...

so, serve me right la kan...
for this is a normal thing for such a procrastinator like me...hahaha

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Raya this year was fun...
I enjoyed every single bit of it :)
I am so lazy to write a recount on what I did during the raya break...so, just let the pictures tell the stories...

pagi raya@mama's

1st syawal with cousins@fazavilla

budak2 bermain api@mama's

raya with friends@nita's

That's all I uploaded...
The rest...check it up @ my fb...daa...

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Orang selalu kata, usia tu bukan apa2...hanya angka...
Dan saya juga pernah percaya begitu...

Orang juga berkata, dengan bertambahnya usia, maksudnya lebih hampirlah kita dengan kematian...
Dan saya juga terima saja idea itu tanpa persoalkan apa2...

Tapi semakin saya dewasa, saya mula menilai semula konsep2 yang pernah dikaitkan dengan usia...
tentang angka... adakah angka tidak bererti apa2?
tentang mati...bukankah ajal maut itu rahsia Allah...
jadi, tiada langsung perkaitannya dengan usia... ianya tidak berkadar terus mahupun berkadar songsang dengan usia...

Jadi, bukankah itu bermakna dengan bertambahnya usia...cara kita berfikir dan menilai kehidupan juga berbeza...

Sebagai contoh, dulu saya seorang yang suka cari pasal dengan orang lain...
Bila berjumpa dengan kawan2 semasa bersekolah rendah dulu, banyak la timbul cerita tentang kenakalan saya... bergaduh dengan orang itu...tak mahu berkawan dengan orang ini...isytihar perang dengan kumpulan itu...tunjuk lagak dengan kumpulan ini...
Sebenarnya, saya tak mampu nak ingat semua yang berlaku 12 tahun yang lalu...
Teruk betul daya ingatan saya...Sayang rasanya bila cerita2 begitu tak mampu direcall semula...
Mujur ada kawan2 yang 'sudi' nak ungkit semua kisah2 hitam tu...haha
Tapi saya hampir tak percaya bila sayalah orang yang buat semua benda2 tu...
Bila fikir2 balik, rasa cam tak suit langsung dengan character saya sekarang...
Saya ni jenis malas nak layan hal2 remeh temeh...gaduh2 la...tak kawan dengan orang tu la...masam muka dengan orang ni la...
Kali terakhir saya terlibat dengan perkara2 yang saya sifatkan stupido tu ialah semasa saya berumur 19 ke 20... Tu pun saya rasa cam tak leh terima je...
Mungkin personaliti saya dah berubah...
Atau mungkin lebih tepat lagi... "cognitive maturation has occured thus leads to behaviour modification... If actions were controlled by emotional quotients in the past, they are now controlled by emotional quotients + intellectual qoutients + spiritual qoutients"

Tapi...saya rasa tak semua orang mengalami proses yang sama pada usia yang sama... Ada yang mengalaminya lebih awal dari yang lain dan ada juga yang mengalaminya lewat... Oleh kerana ini bukanlah teori siapa2, jadi saya hanya berpendapat bahawa semua orang pasti mengalaminya cuma tak tahu lah bila kan...haha
Sebab itulah saya perhatikan, ada orang yang usianya 16 tahun tapi sudah matang berfikir... tidak terlalu mengikut emosi tapi rasional...
Sebab itu juga, ada yang usianya 3o tahun tapi masih bertindak mengikut emosi semata2...tanpa ada pertimbangan logik akal...
Hal ini tiadalah kaitannya dengan kelayakan akademik seseorang kerana...
ada orang yang IQ nya tinggi...tapi bertindak hanya mengikut logik akal semata...
ada pula yang EQ nya tinggi...tapi rendah IQnya... jadi susah juga...

Jadi, formulanya begini:

mesti ada 'a good mixture of IQ, EQ and SQ' because a lack in something will no longer make it beautiful :)

Kesimpulannya, usia sebenarnya does mean something... sebab usia reflect cara kita berfikir...cara kita bertindak dan juga cara kita menilai kehidupan...
Tapi, ini hanyalah pandangan saya semata2...mungkin ada yang setuju dan mungkin ada yang tidak...
Jadi, terpulanglah...sebab saya sekadar menulis apa yang saya fikirkan sekarang dan mungkin juga akan berubah pada masa depan :)

Salam~

nota: dulu selalu wish for a life partner yang punya academic quolification yang setara / lebih tinggi... tapi ternyata, itu bukanlah kunci persefahaman coz I believe, what important is the ability to balance your IQ + EQ + SQ... apa guna kalau bijak pandai tak pandai menjaga hubungan dengan Allah dan manusia kan ;)

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Pergh...rasa lama sangat tak blogging...

Actually, bukan isu lama tak lama...tapi isu kekerapan menulis entry baru yang berkadar rendah semenjak dua menjak ni....

Banyak je benda best yang berlaku hari2 tapi kalau dah malas kan...cakap banyak pun tak guna...

Provided service broadband yang macam hape je tuh...

Daripada excited nak berblogging trus rasa cam nak menyumpah2...so, baik kawal kemarahan dengan cara x blogging trus...at least utk sementara waktu la...heh

Anyways, am currently @ my hometown...

Cuti raya seminggu...

Excited gak raya ni sebab dah 2 tahun raya kat tempat orang...

Bukan la tak best raya kat sana tapi the feeling is 'different' la kan...

Kat sini raya ngan family, kat sana raya ngan kengkawan...(oh, how I miss preparing the food or shall I say 'help' preparing the food...haha)..

Kat sini, jangan harap la nak buat for I can't help myself to let Mom doing it...mak masak sangat sedap okeih...haha

Maybe belum sampai seru kot nak masak sendiri kat sini...

Bak kate my teori: "belum terdesak lagi..." sok2 kalau terdesak, insyaAllah boleh nyer sebab masa kat OZ dulu kire terdesak kan, makan je my fren whatever I cooked or baked...sihat je sume sampai sekarang...haha

Oh ye, semalam melayang RM90 sebab bli memory card camera yang baru... Ni sume gara2 kesengalan diri sendiri yang telah secara clumsynyer sembunyikan memory card lama dalam card reader slot. Ape punyer sengal la kan g masukkan memory card tu dengan position yang salah and thus die stuck kat dalam tu dan xleh keluar. Korek nye korek, jolok punyer jolok...lagi masuk ke dalam-dalam tanpa ada harapan untuk keluar lagi...Unless la my so called ferrari tu tetiba bersin pastu terkeluar la memori card that I bought ntah bape AUD ntah dulu...tp mahal gak la... Maybe, ni namenya 'zakat' di bulan ramadhan... Maybe Allah nak soh bayar zakat cara camtu sebab selama ni abah je yang bayar zakat fitrah...hehe...

Tape, kite kene positif dengan ape yang berlaku esp. bile benda tu jd sebab kesengalan diri sendiri...hehe

K, la... off 4 subuh prayer. Got to help Mom cooking for 'Monjong' thingy. And, since today might be the last day of fasting, I just want to wish all Muslims, Happy EidulFitri... To those who know me: Sorry for all my wrongdoings... Honto ni gomen nasai ne! Hope that all of us will return to our Fitr on the first day of Syawal and thus start our 'new' journey again...insyaAllah.

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

auntie baik kate: bila jadi cikgu, tak jumpa orang lain melainkan budak2 dan cikgu-cikgi saje...jadi macam mane nak kenal orang2 lain (dalam erti kate lain...macam mane nak dapat jodoh?)

saya buat: senyum saje
saya kate dalam hati: jodoh ditangan Allah... nak jumpa sesiapa dan di mana2...itu kuasa Allah :)

auntie baik kate: kahwinlah dengan doktor... boleh hidup senang... boleh tukar2 cerita... satu cerita pasal patients, satu cerita pasal students

saya kate: aah la...sweet gak...
saya kate dalam hati: kalau die bizi...die on-call, die tinggal saya sendiri...nak tukar2 cerita dengan sape....hahaha. Tapi, saya tak la memilih ^^ **larikkkkk**

banyak lagi yang saya bualkan dengan auntie baik on the way ke bas stand...
tapi kesimpulannya, auntie baik memang sangat baik... saya sayang auntie baik :)

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

People say that "we learn from mistake"... And yes I agree with that...
People also say that "once you failed, it does not mean you'll fail forever"... And yes, I have no problem with that...

But, my problem is how to cope with repeated failure...
Yes, I've learned from my previous mistake, and I tried to improve things...
and yet, I did another mistake next time...and another mistake and another mistake...
I would not be bothered this much if it happened once or twice...but it occured many times...consecutively...
I am just tired...
I don't how to handle this situation...

because failure not only made me feel bad about myself (okay, this one I think I could accept it) but it also made me feel quilty....
I am just too exhausted right now...

Oh, is this a reminder from Him...
for me to reevaluate myself and what I've done all this while...

And I seriously think IT IS!!

Salam~