Assalamualaikum W.B.T
Teaching
“Teaching” is not the first thing in my mind when I first learned the word “ambition”.
Seriously, I never expect ended up being a teacher...at least as a profession to begin with.
But I BELIEVE this is what we call FATE.
Not even a moment in my life, I regret being a teacher. at least up till this point.
Why?
Because this profession opens doors for me to know and understand human beings; the interesting but complicated creatures on Earth.
When I say I don’t regret a thing, that does not mean that it’s a bed of roses.
Life as a teacher is not as simple as how people might perceive it to be.
To tell the truth, it’s NEVER EASY and could DRIVE you CRAZY, yet it can make you HAPPY!!
that’s the indescribable part of everything (^_^)
Student
A student is not merely a client/customer/patient to me.
When I regard someone as students, I can’t help myself but feel emotionally connected to them.
Not only I want them to be successful in learning/study, I want to know about their family background, what do they like to do, what are the things that make them happy/sad/moody/sick etc.
Basically, I want to know everything about them.
Yeah, sounds so busybody and stalker-like, but that’s basically how I feel towards them.
I want to love them so they would secure a place in my heart.
All of them. Each and everyone of them.
That’s why I am actually making effortS (note the “s”) to make them know how PRECIOUS they actually are to me.
I want to spread the LOVE to them.
And LOVING means giving COMMITMENT, TIME and also MONEY... (urggh...I wish I have more time)
But sadly saying, SOME of them didn’t see/feel that.
Either it’s PENDING / I turned on the INCORRECT buttons / they don’t know how to respond / they just don’t like me (oh my, I am rejected!!!)
But that’s okay, for me, the outcome is not important because I know I’ve tried.
We can’t force people when we deal with feelings/emotions....noted that...
Favouritism
As teachers, FAVOURITISM is a BIG NO NO!! I know that. It’s well understood.
But, as normal human beings, we can’t afford to refrain ourselves from liking/prefer/favor some people that the others.
Come on, I’m being REALISTIC!! I’m NOT an idealist anyway.
Teachers got feelings too!!
And as students, the moment we feel our teacher favour some other people rather than us;
1st: maybe it’s just our feelings
2nd: the way people show love is different. come on, look at ourselves! how could we be treated similarly as others if we ourselves are different from them. so, don’t simply jump into conclusion ya..
And if I am the teacher concerned, I tell you, I am not being double standard, it’s just that due to some reasons, I have yet to find ways to reach you...(did you find ways to reach me anyways??)...
and not because I simply choose to ignore. So, please don't get the wrong idea :)
Assertive/Strict
Am I not sure what kind of teacher I am/was/will be...
What I knew is I lack/lacked this one quality: “being assertive”...
I have been trying to develop this quality since I was overseas and it’s still going nowhere...
Maybe it’s because I am not that type of person who can express what I REALLY want in a strong way so that people would notice.
I never like that idea because I don’t like being told of what to do (except for work related things or else I don’t know what to should be done).
I always thought that people are sensitive enough to “sense” things so why should others be telling them this and that.
So, I didn’t scold them if they didn’t do what they are supposed to.
I adopt these policies: “be patient”, “be calm” and “hold your anger”.
Most of the time, I do that because I want to “jaga hati” and don’t want to hurt others by the words that might hurt them emotionally and mentally when I burst. (but still some bullets are unavoidable!!)
However, everything doesn’t come for free.
There’s an expensive price that I have to pay for not hurting others...I ended up being hurt...
And that’s the “worldly definition” of FAIRNESS if you want to know.
So, take it or leave it!!
True Colours
When asked what type of person I am, my close friend once replied:
“what people see might not be the same as when they would get later”
Meaning?
The way I appear to people might be different with my true self.
For people that I meet once or twice, I am a different type of person...
For people who are dear to me;
I am not a soft-spoken person...(it’s just not my way..urghh)
I say harsh words when it’s not what I really intend to say...(sorry, I’ll be more careful next time so it won’t be a bad prayer to others...nauzubillah)
I say I don’t care, when I actually do...
I say go when I want people to stay...
I tease people and “cari gaduh” with them when I actually want to be close to them...(some people think I hate them..nope!!)
but in fact, I am VERY sensitive...
I say it’s OK when I am NOT OK...
I say it’s all right when it’s NOT right at all...
And for some unknown reasons, that’s how I react...
and I know that’s very complicated to understand...
but that’s ME, the real ME~
Salam~
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