.::tempat curahan::.

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Tertarik saya membaca satu entry dalam blog cik ati. It was about why people blogging. Menurut cik ati...semua orang pasti punya sebab tertentu kenapa mereka blogging. And yes, I do agree with some of her points =)

Saya baru mula blogging tahun lepas...which means tahun pertama saya berada di luar negara. Reason: Saya bosan (^_^). Dulu, saya selalu cerita2 dengan mak. Start duduk asrama, semua benda saya report dengan mak. Kalau kat asrama dulu, saya call mak guna public phone. Beriya sungguh bercerita dengan mak sampai macam nak peluk je badan telepon tu. Nasib the phone tu depan dorm saya je. Kawan2 selalu dah paham je...hehe. Kat uni plak, mostly telefon mak gune handphone la. Kalau kredit dah kong br gune public phone. Kalau nk call mak, either saya cakap kat balkoni apartment or masuk dalam selimut. Punyer la private conversation tu. Gaye bercakap dengan boyfren je...heh. Orang cakap ngan boyfren pun x seprivate saya kot. Ye la zaman sekarang kan...PDA (public display of affection) la konon2.

Tapi bila kat sini, saya rasa saya dah makin dewasa kot. Takkan saya nak report semua benda kat mak lagi kan. Lagipun saya tak nak la mak risau. And mak pun ade banyak komitmen lain dah sekarang. Mak ade ramai cucu2 x cukup umur yang nak kene attend...takkan yang dah tua ni pun nak jd budak2 kaki report lagi kan. But I am still the same sume-benda-pun-nak-cerita girl...or I should say young women...haha. Nak cerita dengan kawan2...dorg nak ke layan saya all the time? Annoying plak kan. While some things I do share with my friends. Some others I do keep to myself. Tapi, I am the type yang rasa sesak bile ade simpan unsettled things dalam hati. Sebab tu la saya blogging kot. Untuk let go the secret feelings la konon2...tapi in modified version. Tak semua gak kita leh reveal kat public kan. There are things that shoud be left untold. So...selalunya, untuk mem"public"kan feelings, kena la tapis2 gak. Sekurang2nya hati lega la sket and at the same time...the secret is still unrevealed...cewah.

So kesimpulannya, blog memang tempat curahan hati. Kalau saya suka ke...saya sedih ke...saya marah ke...saya risau ke...semuanya ada dalam ni. At least saya rasa lega. I just realized one thing. If I express my feelings through writing, I can always see the positive side of why things happened...because while I am writing...I am reflecting too. However, if I express my feelings through speech, I couldn't always rationalize things. I tend to babble and see only negative side of why things happened. I guess it is because speech is more spontaneous and it is difficult to reflect things in such situation. That's what I think =).

Salam~

p/s: Nak kontrol marah bukan mudah. Saya selalu berperang dengan diri sendiri. Antara nak ungkit rasa tak puas hati atau nak bersabar je. Saya ni cume manusia biase. Kadang2 tak mampu jugak nak handle rasa geram. And crying is one of the best theraphy to let go what I feel and at the same time keep things unrevealed (^_^). Indeed, no one understand me best except HIM, the Almighty =)