.::270 : bukan tegar::.

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Nampaknya, rutin kehidupan saya benar-benar berubah bila saya pulang ke Malaysia. Banyak perkara yang saya lakukan dulu di Sydney, tak mampu saya teruskan di sini. Oh Tuhan, betapa saya merindukan saat-saat suka duka di sana.

Saya bukan tegar. Saya sedar banyak perkara tentang saya yang telah berubah. Ada yang saya rasakan ia perubahan positif, tapi banyak juga yang negatif. Dan saya tidak gembira dengan keadaan ini.

But I just realized one thing, "whenever I chose to go to one direction, I have indirectly abandoned the other". Though sometimes I felt unhappy with the consequences of my decision, I knew at the end of the day, I just could not get everything that I want.

For the "people" whom I have indirectly "ignored", I just want to say I am sorry. I knew I have hurt you guys in some ways. I knew it and I reliazed it. But, I am just not capable to handle everything. I want you to know that I never forget you nor despise you from my life. If you knew how bad I feel to do what I did and how lonely I am at times...when I suddenly found nobody is actually with me.

I knew it and I should be ready for it.

When I can't decide whether I want this or that, I knew at the end of the day, I shall be losing both of them...and thus left with nothing...

This is the way I lead my life and I shall be ready...ready for everything...

Salam~

p/s: Whether I like it or not, getting my family back means I have to let go my blogging world... This is not a karma rule...this is just MY RULE...hmm...