Assalamualaikum W.B.T
It has been many times when I do things just for the sake of doing and I am just tired. You should know how unworthy it is when you do things without anything in mind. At the end of the day, you gained nothing but missed the excitement and the satisfaction of doing things that some others might enjoy.
I would admit that I am not a firm decision maker. I can easily change my mind. I may say YES now and say NO a minute later. I may decide A today and change it to B tomorrow. I just can't help it. Some people may claim that I don't have a strong principle in life - and they can just say anything because it may be true somewhere.
Sometimes, my decision is influenced by others (so, you now knew how you can manipulate me in some ways ^^) and at some other times, it is my conscience that lead me to make up my mind. Sometimes, you have no reasons for your decision but you still hold on to it. This is when you have to believe that Allah has guide you to choose the path you should choose. Verily, Allah is the All-Knower.
I knew the problem I am facing now is so simple. I once decided to visit this particular country during winter break and I kept persuading my friend to go there with me. I said to her that this may be the only chance to visit there since it is just a nearby country. It might be difficult to do so when we are back to Malaysia..bla..bla..bla. We were about to buy the promotion ticket but we ended up not buying it because another friend said that we could get a cheaper ticket if bought it from this particular airline. So, I was like "Ok then. We'll bought it from there." I think it was two weeks after that that I suddenly changed my mind - I thought of not going. You knew how difficult and guilty I am to tell the friend that I have persuaded earlier about my current decision. I don't know how exactly she feels at that time. She could just scream and yell at me but she didn't. Dear friend, I am so sorry for that. I was not doing it on purpose. You knew how you could suddenly feel that you should not do things you've planned earlier. You just don't feel good about doing it. But I also mentioned to her that I can whenever change my mind. So, don't be surprised if in the future I change my mind AGAIN!!! Complicated eh...
I think I can spot the weakness of my argument when I first decided to go there. I mentioned about opportunities, about people's expectation (eh, where have you been so far?), about self-fulfillment (covering as many places as possible) etc. But never in my argument did I mentioned about my own desire and interest. I am not doing it for my own sake, I am doing it for the sake of other things. I guess this is the point of downfall for my plan.
In my life so far, I have a very limited experience of doing what I want to do. Most of the time, I just do what have been laid for me. So far, I am coping with it but as I said - I could feel nothing but missed the excitement and satisfaction though there are cases where I found the HIKMAH at the end of it =) Maybe this is the moment when I should consider doing what I want - to feel the real excitement and satisfaction of doing things whole-heartedly...insyaAllah.
I would admit that I am not a firm decision maker. I can easily change my mind. I may say YES now and say NO a minute later. I may decide A today and change it to B tomorrow. I just can't help it. Some people may claim that I don't have a strong principle in life - and they can just say anything because it may be true somewhere.
Sometimes, my decision is influenced by others (so, you now knew how you can manipulate me in some ways ^^) and at some other times, it is my conscience that lead me to make up my mind. Sometimes, you have no reasons for your decision but you still hold on to it. This is when you have to believe that Allah has guide you to choose the path you should choose. Verily, Allah is the All-Knower.
I knew the problem I am facing now is so simple. I once decided to visit this particular country during winter break and I kept persuading my friend to go there with me. I said to her that this may be the only chance to visit there since it is just a nearby country. It might be difficult to do so when we are back to Malaysia..bla..bla..bla. We were about to buy the promotion ticket but we ended up not buying it because another friend said that we could get a cheaper ticket if bought it from this particular airline. So, I was like "Ok then. We'll bought it from there." I think it was two weeks after that that I suddenly changed my mind - I thought of not going. You knew how difficult and guilty I am to tell the friend that I have persuaded earlier about my current decision. I don't know how exactly she feels at that time. She could just scream and yell at me but she didn't. Dear friend, I am so sorry for that. I was not doing it on purpose. You knew how you could suddenly feel that you should not do things you've planned earlier. You just don't feel good about doing it. But I also mentioned to her that I can whenever change my mind. So, don't be surprised if in the future I change my mind AGAIN!!! Complicated eh...
I think I can spot the weakness of my argument when I first decided to go there. I mentioned about opportunities, about people's expectation (eh, where have you been so far?), about self-fulfillment (covering as many places as possible) etc. But never in my argument did I mentioned about my own desire and interest. I am not doing it for my own sake, I am doing it for the sake of other things. I guess this is the point of downfall for my plan.
In my life so far, I have a very limited experience of doing what I want to do. Most of the time, I just do what have been laid for me. So far, I am coping with it but as I said - I could feel nothing but missed the excitement and satisfaction though there are cases where I found the HIKMAH at the end of it =) Maybe this is the moment when I should consider doing what I want - to feel the real excitement and satisfaction of doing things whole-heartedly...insyaAllah.
Salam~
(2:216)
"But it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and you know not"
Hadith 27
Al-Nawwas bin Sam'an, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:
"Righteousness is good character, and sin is that which wavers in your heart and which you do not want people to know about."
According to Wabisah bin Ma'bad, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said:
I came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, and he said: "You have come to ask about righteousness ?" " Yes," I answered. He said: "Consult your heart. Righteousness is that about which the soul feels tranquil and the heart feels tranquil, and sin is what creates restlessness in the soul and moves to and fro in the breast, even though people give you their opinion (in your favour) and continue to do so."
"Righteousness is good character, and sin is that which wavers in your heart and which you do not want people to know about."
According to Wabisah bin Ma'bad, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said:
I came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, and he said: "You have come to ask about righteousness ?" " Yes," I answered. He said: "Consult your heart. Righteousness is that about which the soul feels tranquil and the heart feels tranquil, and sin is what creates restlessness in the soul and moves to and fro in the breast, even though people give you their opinion (in your favour) and continue to do so."
4 comments:
Assalamualaikum Ina,
I learnt a great deal of life from your brother. He is a very simple-thinking man. To him, there is no right or wrong when making a decision. You just got to do it and deal with the outcome later. There is no point of regretting your decision. Remember Allah has His own way of planning. There must be a reason in every decision or action that we made. And try to look at everything in our life positively. Inshaallah it will make you a calmer person. Don’t serabut kan your mind. Think beyond what you see in front of your eyes. And most importantly, when we are in doubt or difficult situation, the best way to calm ourselves down is to succumb ourselves to The One. Inshaallah
To sis nisa:
I got two major things from your comment for this entry.
1st - I now knew who's the blogger from Kawasaki, Kanagawa that I have been spying all this while. Korg gune ip address HQ Toshiba kat Jepun ke..muyskil...ekeke
2nd - I just realized that you've been reading my blog and this made me kind of segan...huhu
Btw, thanks for your sharing. Iboy is a truly simple-minded person which is good for him and for the people around him. How I wish I could be as sempoi as him. But to know me, I am a complicated person. This I think would the reason why I didn't move on in my life. Sad uh. But, I'll try to gradually overcome this problem...insyaAllah
salam rien,
sometimes we juz hv to trust our instinct bcoz it cud b a sign dat Allah try to tell u something..(who knows)
everything happen for a reason
so, if u don feel like want to do it
then, better don..no need to feel sorry about it..
ur fren wud understand
n mayb d fren also don want u to do something dat u r not enjoyed n feel gud about it
so, gambate...
may u find sth dat u feel pleasure doing it
to asyikin:
salam~
yeah, you may be true...
btw, thanks for understanding me...
this may be a hard time for u, to spend almost ur lifetime here with a complicated person like me =)
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