Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Sampai sekarang, saya tak pasti kenapa saya pilih untuk buat perkara tu...
Saya tak pasti samaada itu adalah keputusan yang bijak atau sebaliknya...
Tapi, saya tahu, apapun yang akan berlaku lepas ni...saya sendiri yang tentukan samaada ianya baik atau tidak untuk saya...
it's all about how I perceive things kan...

Apa yang saya tahu, ini bukan masanya untuk mengubah fikiran...
There's no time or even opportunity for it...
So, just face it with open heart :)

Apa yang penting sekarang, saya harap Allah akan permudahkan segalanya untuk saya...amin
dan semoga saya akan terus mempelajari sesuatu dari pengalaman ini...insyaAllah

"...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know." (2:216)

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

"Dan Dia memberinya rezeki dari arah yang tidak disangka-sangkanya. Dan barangsiapa bertawakkal kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan mencukupkan (keperluan) nya. Sesungguhnya Allah melaksanakan urusan-Nya. Sungguh, Allah telah mengadakan ketentuan bagi setiap sesuatu" (3:65)

Bagi saya, ayat tersebut telah cukup menjelaskan situasi saya sekarang. Syukur pada Allah kerana masih memberi saya peluang untuk kembali ber"nafas" dalam dunia realiti. Sungguh, nikmat Allah yang manakah lagi mampu saya dustakan selepas semua ini berlaku. Apa yang mampu saya katakan sekarang, saya amat bersyukur atas segala yang berlaku. Tak tergambar rasanya kesyukuran ini. Sekarang saya semakin faham dan lebih menghayati kalau "pengucapan dua kalimah syahadah" itu memang merupakan nikmat terbesar...alhamdulillah

Takbir...Allahu Akbar

"Mereka merasa berjasa kepadamu dengan keislaman mereka. Katakanlah, "Janganlah kamu merasa berjasa kepadaku dengan keislamanmu, sebenarnya Allah yang melimpahkan nikmat kepadamu dengan menunjukkan kamu kepada keimanan, jika kamu orang yang benar" (49:17)

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Firstly, I want to apologize because my previous entries had somehow made some of my friends worried about my condition. I am truly sorry for that but frankly speaking, at that moment, I just wrote what I felt. I never intend to seek attention what more to bother “you guys” – those people whom I realized cared so much about me. Thanks ya… I really appreciate your concern.

But let me clarify something here: “It’s not that I do not trust you well enough that I refused to share my so-called problem… But I feel that “the problem” is too personal and complicated that I do not know where to start if I were to share with you. But Alhamdulillah, with your support and dua’ from far, I feel better now. At least, I’ve learnt something from this experience. As I try to help myself solve this problem, I realized that what makes me “stucked” was the fact that I did not let go certain things and kept thinking about the past. That was when I discover that one of the ways to overcome this personal conflict is to forget the past, face the present and do not overly look forward the future. What I can conclude here is simple: “Think about yesterday so that you’ll make the best of today and do not expect too much from tomorrow for we never knew if we are still in the game or not.”

Whatever it is, let bygone be bygone!! And thanks so much for those who care.... I love you all… Uhibbuki fillah ;)

**************

Okay, finished ya about that jiwa-jiwa entries…

Last Friday, me and my precious friends went to Aquaria KLCC. FYI, this is my first visit tau. Before this, I never interested with all those animals, insects, marine life and the list goes on. But, after my visit to Sea World last year, I kind of jatuh chenta with dolphins…cute tau. Tapi kat Aquaria tadek dolphins pun. So, I thought I won’t like this place. But to my surprise, I enjoyed it!!! Now I admit if fishes can really make you feel tranquil. Really…no bluff. I think I’ve made the right decision for joining them last Friday for at least half of my burdens have gone. Alhamdullillah ;) Praise be to Allah for answering my supplication. Alhamdulillah...

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

bila kita tak mampu meluah apa yang sebenarnya terbuku di hati...
kerana ia terlalu sukar untuk digambarkan...
maka jadilah blog ni sangat tak ketahuan...
ntah-hapa-hapa jadinya...

sampai bila...
saya sendiri tak pasti...

kepada yang sudi membaca, terima kasih atas nasihat dan concern...
tapi saya mohon maaf kerana tak mampu nak respon kepada komen ada dengan baik...
saya hanya mohon agar kalian doakan saya supaya 'menemui' diri saya semula...

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Seriuosly saying, I am not sure what to do now...
I seemed to have stucked here...still...not moving...be it forward or backward...
why? because I don't know which direction should I lead my way...

oh Lord, this situation is not easy for me...
I am getting weaker and weaker each day...
and whether I like or not...I think the transformation process is on-going...
and I feel like becoming a new person...a type of person that I never thought of become...

oh Lord, please help me out from this situation...
please give me strengths...I beg You...
I seriously cannot handle this situation anymore...
it's killing my soul...
please...onegaishimasu!!!!!!!!

"If Allah helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in Allah (Alone) let believers put their trust" (3:160)

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Searching....is not an easy task to do...if you are not sure what's missing....
And this is what I feel right now...
One thing for sure, there is something lacking in me...
something that I don't know what...and I can't even figure it out no matter how many times I have tried...

Sometimes I wonder, why people like to compare...be it among things, among places, among people, among anything...you just name it...
I knew, at times, comparing is important as it generates your high level of thinking...
better still, it opens doors for improvement....if you well-reflect upon it...
but, why bother to compare if it only makes you ungrateful creature who's always not satisfy with what you have right now...
astaghfirullah al'azim...

I don't know what's the end for all this...
I don't even know where exactly I am heading to...
what I know, am not happy with the part that "i am not doing anything" for all the changes that happened...
I am not sure whether I have lost my control or I purposely let it go....
I am not sure....

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Firstly, praise be to Allah...finally he is back!!!
Though I haven't met him yet...hearing his voice was just enough to make me feel relief...
At least now, half of the burden is gone...
I really hope that this 'event' would be a greatest turning point for him, the family and me as well...insyaAllah...

On another note, I don't know why would I be very moody these days...
I just don't know but some people can easily annoy me at times...
What to do? Simple....just ignore that person...at least for that particular moment...
Maybe it's just about time...
You know when people say, "wrong timing"...
whatever la kan ;P

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Saya sedar saya terlalu kerap off-task sekarang...
Kalau tidak, masakan hari ni je, dah 3 entries saya tulis...
Nak buat macamne, fikiran saya ntah kemana2 dah...tak fokus langsung...
Dan saya nak admit, saya memang easily distracted pun...hmmm...

Tiba2 saya terfikir...
bukan senang rupanya untuk kita cuba tak affect orang lain dengan keadaan diri kita...
somehow or rather...tempiasnya terkena juga...
like in my case, I knew I am not in a good 'condition' mentally and emotionally...
and as much as I like to share...I just couldn't do so this time...
and to keep things to myself is not an easy task for me to do jugak...duhh
so, I ended up having mood swing...not once...but many times...

I knew it's not fair for the people around me to be treated like this...
but I just couldn't handle the situation...
I am terribly sorry and I hope they could just bear with me this time...
all I need is time....onegaishimasu ^_^

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

if I miss him = you miss him
if you miss him = everybody miss him

therefore, I miss him = everybody miss him

full stop.


I knew I have been rambled a lot in all of these current entries...just ignore me please...
I just need a space to escape...
Yeah...escapism is the word...

Salam~

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

tak sanggup lagi lihat dia dalam lara...
kerana tangisnya tangisku jua...
deritanya deritaku jua...
sakitnya sakitku jua...

tapi aku sendiri tak mampu mengubah cerita...
aku sendiri tak mampu berbuat apa-apa...
selain memohon belas ihsan dari-Nya...
agar cerita duka ini berakhir saja...
dan pergi buat selamanya...

-aku yang tak bisa melihat dia sengsara memendam rasa-

Salam~